i feel like grabbing everything possible i can. I want wings for some reasons. Feels like tired of being what you want me to be.

I want to do something new.. Something where i can prove ME. I think i can do it.

ahmedabaaaaddddd

its just been 3 or 4 days. and im missing ahmedabad alreadyy!! goshhh i've been thinking, what will happen to me when i will actually leave india for good. :((

i love india. something in life happen for good.
i was travelling through shatabdi express- train! i had specifically asked ma agent to get me a window seat when he was booking a seat for me. i was late for ma train as usual, i bribed the rikshaw fellow and to ma surprise he broke the signal cuz i had told me u got exact 3o min, and i had 45 min to go.. where i live, it takes exactly an hour to get to the railway station. and guess what i was at the station in exactly 35min!! bravo to ma rikshaw guy. i just loveeee the rikshaws.. :))


i have never been able to understand the announcements made at the railway stations esp when a lady talks. ahmedabad's station is quite big as compared to nadiad. i has more than six platforms. i got to platform number one- i saw a beautiful train awaiting, i thought "wow! where is this heading to?? it was just as classy as in movies"
when the lady was talking about the platform number connected to ma train, i heart "get to platform number eight" i was like wtf? there is no number eight?!?!
i got hold of the TC i asked him to help! he said, "mam this is your train (pointing at the one standing infront of me) i kept starring at the train. it WAS the one i was admiring. "all smiles"

as i found ma coach and ma seat number i saw a couple seated at ma place. they should be somewhere late fortys. i said, politely " excuses me? thats ma seat, showing them ma ticket. they instantly got up first. then slowly asked, " if you don't mind? can you adjust in that seat? we would like to seat here" i looked at the seat they pointed at, it was a three tier one , and the next two seats were occupied by old ladies. i was like helllll noooo!

i turned to the couple and said, "i'm sorry, i had asked for this seat, and i'm goin for ma exams. and i would like to read. so please understand" the uncle said, " okay no problem, you can have it" i smiled at him sarcastically thinking like duhhhh i will !!!

so far, whenever i have travelled through train, i always get ma companion in the train to be an NRI. i know, NOW i'm one too. but it sucks!!

this guy was from states. he was explaining each and every thing to his wife. giving examples of the distance through amsterdam to NY and i donno what not. i was soo pissed. then he started asking me questions about india, that annoyed me more. i asked him, "aren't you from here?" he said, no no from USA. i said, "oh and when did you leave india? " he looked at me with cunning looks. he said 2001. i thought bloody hell, its not been long. and your wife is from here too. then why the fuck you gotta pretend its your first time?? its soo pissing when people behave in such way.

i feel soo proud.. i know stuff around..

urghh

anyways.. i'll continue.. :) im tired of writing lol

R.I.P romeo

god is so unfair.

my romeo died today!!

romeo and juliet ma two gold fishes.. remember..

i cried alot last night, sitting by ma fish bowl.. i remembered the day he had come home to help move ma stuff to new place, we were standing by the bowl and i introduced him to ma fishes. he corrected me and said, romeo is me and juliet is you. i kept starring at the fishes and couldn't stop crying..

next morning when i woke up, outta habit i walked to the fish bowl to kiss them, i saw ma romeo was floating flat in water. at first i didnt realise he is dead, when i touched it and no movement, i screamt. i was shocked...

was it because i cried last night? or was it because i broke up with him? or what is it??

so strange.

they say a gold fish cannot survive single for long. im scared il lose the other one.

ma roomies asked me to get a new fish for juliet orelse she'll die!!

what will i do for maself. im walking dead already..

:(

hate

is feeling sick.
sick of everything.

when things started taking a right turn in ma life. its off track once again. i hate the feeling.

i was in love again. wel i thought i was.

it was just a bad dream.

i wish i can turn back time and erase everything. i don't wanna be in love anymore.

i just broke up with ma boyfriend. i tried to be all perfect, i failed. i accepted things as it it was ma fate. but all in vain..

why can't people value your emotions, your efforts, your feelings, or simply YOU!!!

i guess i am a human. am i not??

its 2:29 am. i should be sleeping or reading for ma exams which is on 7th dec, here i am writing the crappy feeling of ma heart. i just did the yuckiest vomit. urghhhhhhh

i wanna pray to krishna, please dont do this to me. why did u make me say yes to him, and why did you show me a new sunshine in ma life. to deserve what just happened tonight?!?!?

i donno why im writing all this? may be to feel better, will i ever??

i hate love!

i hate myself.

NICE

misunderstanding
misconception
wrong and doubtful thoughts
regrets..

no solutino to these.. is there??
people should try to understand why things happen the way they do!
leaving things half way, leads no where..

trying to be same with all is not easy but yet some what possible.

have i changed??
or did i realise and now see a difference??

trying closest to being NICE